being a Woman (this Woman) in the time of trump

 

I’m getting ready to do my weekly clean of our home, when I feel a familiar pang of anxiety come over me. Then another. And another. And another, until the pangs become an aching. A drowning. Continue reading being a Woman (this Woman) in the time of trump

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self-compassion and punishment.

Been having trouble writing lately. I guess trouble isn’t fair to say. I haven’t even been trying. I do go so far as to write in my planner to “Start a writing practice…at least 30 min/day!!”

Pretty cute, I know.

Too bad I don’t do a damn thing with it.

And yet, here I am today. I’m choosing to be compassionate with myself, rather than hateful and critical. It’s hard. It’s much easier for me to keep talking shit to myself the way I have been for the last few months…

Continue reading self-compassion and punishment.

my silence and inaction as a white person.

I have been scrolling through my newsfeed the last few days, reading, “liking,” and sharing certain articles addressing the devastating news of the killing of Alton Sterling and Philando Castile by police officers. Even just typing that sentence feels disgusting and cowardly. I’ve been silent beside those swipes of my fingers. I have felt sick, enraged, helpless, guilty, hopeless, devastated, and weak.

Although, quite frankly, I’m not sure it matters how I feel…and coming from a therapist, I know that is a pretty rich thing to say. I say that because it doesn’t matter what I feel in this situation, it matters what I do (or don’t do). It matters what I say (and don’t say). It’s like I tell my clients, young and old, feelings are there to tell you something, often to spring you into action, hopefully thoughtful action. But here I am. Actionless. White, privileged, and absolutely zero action.

Continue reading my silence and inaction as a white person.

7 ways to get your life ready for self-care.

Self-care.  Where art thou? What doth thou mean? How do I locate thee? How do I know if I need thee?

Continue reading 7 ways to get your life ready for self-care.

your 20s probably blew (or are still blowing) and why no one bothered to tell you.

When I was younger, and by younger I mean any time before this exact moment, I thought the 20s were “it.” It is obviously a bit vague and dodgy, hence the italics. They seemed glamorous and more importantly full of having your shit together. Does that sound like your 20s? If so, nice work. High five! Write a book, tell us your secrets. If not, you’ve got company.

Continue reading your 20s probably blew (or are still blowing) and why no one bothered to tell you.

what in the world is my therapist thinking? 7 common thoughts from this therapist.

 

“What is rumbling around in that silent, smug monster’s brain?” It can be hard to be in therapy. It can feel like you are having a one-way relationship at times, because you share so much and they share so little. You can ask them what they think and they will therapist the shit out of that question and redirect the question back to you. Muhahahahwahha (I just googled how to spell “evil laugh,” so that is an evil laugh…it’s always better when you have to explain the joke I heard). There are therapeutic reasons for this (e.g., a therapist will appear more objective and emotionally safe and available if you don’t know every single thing about them). Therapy’s appeal, effectiveness, and uniqueness likely have something to do with these unfamiliar and strange boundaries, but nevertheless it can be unsettling. I can’t speak for all therapists, but here are 7 common thoughts I have while in sessions with my clients.

Continue reading what in the world is my therapist thinking? 7 common thoughts from this therapist.

the fear of failing before you even start.

 

Welcome to my first post on my blog (seriously hate that word) my something to say. I’ve always loved writing. It’s been kind of obnoxious my whole life. Even in school I loved writing. I had a professor in undergrad tell me once, “You’re a great writer, but I don’t need to hear every single thought you have.” As I type that it sounds harsher than how I took it…or how I thought I took it.

Continue reading the fear of failing before you even start.